Porn Addiction Counselling

Porn use is one of the fastest growing compulsions in the world today.  One recent study found that 20-30 percent of males find it difficult to stop using pornography.

What are the symptoms of porn addiction?

• Sex life becomes less fulfilling,

• Porn is causing problems in your relationships

• You start taking bigger risks like looking at porn at work.

• Important things in your life are sidelined

• You find yourself looking at more extreme or novel varieties of porn

• Feelings of shame and frustration are hard to ignore

• You would like to stop but you cannot

• Money is spent on porn that would be used for more important things

• You are hiding your porn use from your partner or family

• Pornography has become your go-to coping mechanism for stress, shame, depression, loneliness or anxiety.

 What is at the heart of porn addiction?

At Cairis Counselling we are guided by Gabor Mate’s conclusion that the pain of trauma and other emotional woundedness compels us to cope with substances, sex or porn.  We cannot fully treat addiction unless we address the pain and trauma that fuels it.

We use IFS (Internal Family Systems) to heal the sources of pain and shame that fuel the compulsive use of pornography.   By starting underlying trauma, shame and emotional baggage that often started in childhood, it is easier for our clients to find a safe place to be honest and accepted.  While recognizing the damage of the unwanted behavior, we carefully explore the source with curiosity and compassion.  It is a healing approach less hindered by feelings of shame or aversion to vulnerability.

When those wounds are healed there is more than just sobriety.  In addition to reducing the fuel that compels the behavior, we also address self-esteem, shame, anxiety and the depression that often accompanies addiction.  We help people become more of what they want to be so that they can be a better partner or parent or family member.

In addition to the healing process, we look to find areas of connection and meaning to reduce discomfort.

IFS therapy compliments participation in 12 step groups but does not require it.

If you are the partner of someone who is stuck in porn addiction, I invite you to check out my article for you “Things to consider when your partner cannot stop using porn.”